Fill It Up

Ah...the truth that misleads is more deceptive than any lie. It makes you empathetic. And if you have even the slightest penchant for men of the broken winged variety – in need of so much love and you're just the one to give it because you're the only one who really understands him- well think again. All the others understood him too. Believe me. And guess what...that's why they left.

When a seemingly to-be-trusted partner is upfront and says “I really want this to work. I know I'm damaged but I'm trying”, it's their get out of jail free card. You see, you believe them and believe in them. But more importantly, you believe this man wants to change and so, against your better judgement, you push down the pain of not getting what you need and allow the few little seeds of hope he's thrown your way to be planted. Unfortunately what grows is Ivy.

Ironically, HE taught me about Ivy. It certainly is pretty to look at but Ivy actually kills the very trees it covers and guess what...if you think it's easy to get rid of, think again. Hmmmm... I think I see a similarity.

Sure, I definitely played my part...that of willing participant in a completely unhealthy and unbalanced relationship with an emotionally unavailable partner. Yes, the warning signs were there and yes, I just chose to believe that change, the change he said he feared was impossible for him to make, would happen. Why? Because I'm a fantastic girlfriend, who wouldn't want to make those changes for me?

Ok, kidding and a healthy dose of much needed self esteem boosting aside, isn't that how we all feel when we give our all to a person or a situation only to be kicked in the teeth without so much as a thank you?

Like a pro, he's essentially told you the most manipulative truth of all. The one that lets him get away with bad insensitive behavior... the one that allows him not to be an active participant in the relationship so the relationship only goes so deep...the one that lets him say, finally in the end when it all falls apart because...it totally will, "I never lied and I never mislead you."

And there you have it. He's right and you have nothing to say because there's nothing you can say.

However, in your next relationship, when he asks you to, "try to see me as a glass half full - not half empty," please, before you walk out, don't forget to say the only thing there is to say in that moment...“I need a full glass.”