A Modern Fairy Tale

So as I’m coming to grips that the traditional fairly tale may be out of mine, I am wondering if a newer modern fairy tale couldn’t be just as romantic, maybe even more so. I always thought things would just happen and happen in the order they were supposed to, you meet a boy, fall in love, get married and have a baby.

But, what if you have a baby, get married and then fall in love. Is that so bad? Maybe it’s better. Maybe with all those people who did it the right way and ended in divorce, going out of order may be in order.

My good friend just turned 39. She was in a long distance relationship with an old college friend of mine I set her up with about 6 months ago. It started casually enough but quickly after they got close she told him how she had been planning on getting inseminated in September. She needed to have a baby before it was too late, with or without a man.

“I think the two of you should just go for it” I urged. Why not? Half of succeeding in a relationship is just having the conviction to do so anyway. When both people have it, it works. When one person doesn’t have it, they both fail.

And what about arranged marriages? There was a beautiful essay months ago in the NY Times Modern Love column about a man’s love for his wife by an arranged marriage and how in the end, she couldn’t have been more perfect for him. Isn’t it better to grow into love then to fall out of it?

So, whereas I used to think that getting pregnant out of wedlock is one of the most terrible things that could happen to a woman; I now think it can be a blessing in certain circumstances. A nudge from the universe if you will, to move forward with your life because, well….EVERYONE ELSE IS.

Sometimes we’re scared to make decisions on our own, to take action. Sometimes, it’s easier when the action is taken for us and sometimes the lemonade made from lemons is so sweet, you reach for a second glass…

…Which also brings me to another thought. Love is a choice. You can’t help who you’re attracted to. But once you make a decision to enter a relationship, loving someone means making a decision to weather out the tough times; the times when you’re not so in love and avoiding weak moments where you could easily let yourself fall in love with another, even if only for a weekend.

I think disorder is healthy. I think an unconventional fairy tale is possible if you’re just willing to believe it is. It becomes as possible as the conventional kind, if not more.